you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
