Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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