I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
