Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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