hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
