i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
