Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
