i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
