there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I believe in your delicious
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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