I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
