how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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