how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
