shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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