that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
