dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Let's get the cat blown out
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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