Already got asked if we're dating
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
