Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
