but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
