He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
