Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
