i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
