I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
