As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
