she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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