when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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