U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You were trust falling into bushes
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
