she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
