i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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