I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
