we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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