the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
