I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
MIDGETS
????
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
