One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish I only lived at night.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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