I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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