I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize