You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
