Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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