the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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