Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't deserve a penis
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
