FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
