i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you traded sex for a burrito?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
