its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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