so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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