Having a random hookup so left but love u
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
