So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
