Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
