Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
