I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
