There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
