Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
