So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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