Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
