HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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