i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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