problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
