I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
