he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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